Follow up

So, it didn't take 3 years - that's good. I guess there needs to be an update on me.

Currenlty I'm in a "waking up" phase. Sleeping parts are being awakened. While I know that this is good, it is mighty uncomfortable, different, and damn near hard to keep a hold of. While going-with-the-flow is typically viewed as a positive trait; it has turned into an incapacitating numbness for me at times. What all this process has in store I do not know. This process being God that is.

Part of this is about me looking honestly at what I know and what I believe. My life experiences have provided me a great deal of knowledge - for which I am thankful; however, it has almost become like gnosticism for me in that knowledge becomes that which is most sought. That's not completely true of me, but looking for and accepting knowledge as kept me from seeking reflection, discernment, and challenging my beliefs.

I need prayers. If you're willing to offer those I am grateful to you.
Pray I would develop a heart of prayer; I do not have it and I need it.
Pray I would have the desire to talk to God - a problem (not doing so that is) which has precipitated much of the dilemma in which I find myself.
Pray I would be brave in reaching out to others.
Pray for a safe community of believers both myself and my wife could engage.
Pray I would fight for ground in this process rather than sitting on a hill letting life pass by.
Pray I would do that which I know will be helpful to me despite what it may cost me and how it may receive negative reactions at times.
Pray I would have the courage to no longer live in fear and hiding.
Pray that I can find someone who can hold me accountable in some key areas of my life.